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New Year’s resolutions: take it or leave it

Posted in Life, Yoga with tags on January 3, 2012 by Karmela

I’m done with crafting ambitious resolutions to start off the year because frankly, I never follow through with them. I’m even done with goals that you may classify as moderate. You’d think a goal like “take a look at all the papers that the kids bring home from school, then tack the important ones on the fridge,” would not only be a moderate goal, but a goal that makes sense, a goal that’s IMPORTANT. But did it happen? I was good for maybe three or four months, then summer rolled around, and well, that was the end of that.

So this year I’ve resolved to make my resolutions totally modest. Unimportant, even. As in if I accomplish them, great. If I don’t, that’s okay too. You’re like, Karmela, if you’re not gonna work on them, then you can’t call them “resolutions,” can you? Yes I can, and yes I will! Because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want! [/evil laugh]

So here are my modest, unimportant, downright ignorable resolutions for 2012:

  1. Place my right leg behind my neck in Supta Kurmasana. I can already put my left leg in place, but not the right. See, already this is a PERFECT take-it-or-leave-it resolution. If I succeed, woohoo! If I don’t, nothing bad really happens, am I right?
  2. Lose only one dozen things this year, one per month. I am horrible when it comes to keeping track of my shit. I lose stuff all the time. But maybe if I allow myself to lose one item once per month, then I’d be more selective on what that item could be, and they could be items that are totally unimportant. I know, doesn’t make sense, but stay with me here.
  3. Stop caring if the refrigerator door is neat. This is the main reason why I don’t ever put stuff on the fridge door (see entry, “Important Papers, Kids”).
  4. Send out Christmas cards! For those of you who regularly get holiday cards from my family, I skipped them this year. Not because I was lazy, but because hubby was losing his job and I was trying to save on printing and postage costs. But I didn’t even send eCards, which really, there’s no excuse for that. So come this Christmas, be they print cards or eCards, I’m sending them out. (Hey, this one is actually an exception to the take-it-or-leave-it resolution. Hmmm…)
  5. Stop looking at other people who practice alongside me. So what if they can float into Bhujapidasana? I’m not supposed to be looking at all!
  6. Finish your novel! Self-explanatory.I’m actually working on something different this time around.
  7. Become more Tiger Mother-like. And there’s no better way to do that than to supervise their instrument practices, as in Ballerina Girl on piano and Science Boy on the cello. At least 30 minutes a day, every day except Mondays, which is when they have their lessons. Wait a minute, this one sounds a lot like another REAL goal…
  8. Move closer to becoming a yoga teacher. I’ve long ago contemplated the idea of becoming a yoga teacher, but I had three major obstacles to overcome. The first was TIME, the second was MONEY, and the third was the fact that I can only study yoga under the tutelage of someone (a) with a badass Ashtanga practice, (b) whom I respect and adore, (c) who is a fountain of vast yogaknowledge, and (d) is funny as shit. For a long time, such a guru was nowhere to be found in the DMV. But about a month ago, I learned that my current badass teachers are heading up a teacher training program. So while I still have to overcome the whole time/money thing, I can cross the third one off my list of obstacles.
  9. Hunker down and continue to teach my fitness classes. Lately, I’ve lost the passion for teaching the things I’ve taught. It’s a combination burnout (75%) and a lack of time (25%). But in talking to NDH last night, we concluded that the positives (extra income, free gym membership, discounts for kids’ activities) far outweigh the negatives. Since I only teach 1.5 hours one day a week, I’m just going to make myself DO IT. Just do it, girl.
  10. And finally, in my list of take-it-or-leave-it resolutions, I will learn how to play soccer this year. Hey, I said take-it-or-leave-it, right? ;-)

Happy Year of the Dragon, all!

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Moms: You ARE still your own person, dammit!

Posted in Life with tags on December 27, 2011 by Karmela

Happy new year, all! So yesterday morning, I read this op-ed piece in the Washington Post, which made me go from eye-rolling to idea-mulling. You see, in my busy Type A-filled area populated with overinvolved helicopter parents, I hear it from moms all the time: “Oh my god, I don’t have time to (fill in the blank) because of the kids!” And they usually expect me to nod in agreement and empathize. And it seems a universal whine–I hear it from moms who work outside the home and stay-at-home moms, moms with one child and moms with three.

But instead of blanket agreeing with them, I usually give them an eyebrow raise and say, “Really? You know it’s not just good for YOU to (insert activity here they are bemoaning about) but for your WHOLE FAMILY, including your KIDS, right?”

And then they look at me incredulously, sometimes haplessly, sometimes with borderline derision, or sometimes with just pained acceptance, and say something along the lines of, “Well, maybe when you have kids, you’ll understand.” To which I reply with a, “Oh, mine are ten and eight years old. How old are yours?”

I had my kids in the beginning of my 30s. At that time, I’ve also become a group fitness instructor, published a novel, became a folk dance choreographer, joined a band, and taken up yoga in a serious way. (Not all at the same time though, I’m not THAT crazy!) I’ve also managed to hold on to my full-time job and stay married.

Before you throw tomatoes in my direction, my point here is not to brag. My point is that it is POSSIBLE to have something of your own while raising kids. Could be something as simple as a book club, or something as involved as changing your career or re-entering the work force. And volunteering in your kids’ elementary school doesn’t count. I’m talking about something that’s just FOR YOU, no kids involved, something that feeds your soul, something that recharges and energizes you for the energy-sucking full-time 24/7 job that is Motherhood.

To assist you in your quest to reclaim your personhood, I’ve assembled a MUST DO LIST to rediscover yourself. And by “must” do, I mean just that. Non-negotiable, must-be-done things for the coming year:

  1. Exercise. Yep, this is number 1. Non-negotiable. You MUST do this. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the kids, because a healthy mom is a healthy family. I don’t care if you take a walk just once a week around the neighborhood. Exercise gets the blood flowing and the neurons firing.
  2. Feed your mind. Read the newspapers, play Sudoku on your iPhone, watch MythBusters on TV. The source doesn’t really matter here so long as you are regularly receiving an input of information you didn’t know before.
  3. Go on a date with your spouse. Doesn’t have to happen weekly or even biweekly. Hell, me and the hubby go out maybe once every six week. But go out together just by ourselves we do, and I can’t tell you the thrill we both feel when we drive away from our house with no kids in the backseat. Makes us giddy and feel young all over again.
  4. Stop fixing your kids their own meals. Seriously, you are not a restaurant. Start fixing healthy stuff for yourself. If the people in the house choose to eat it, they get full. If they don’t, they go hungry. Simple as that. No need to stress about it or make a big deal.
  5. Stop skipping breakfast. You KNOW you’re not supposed to skip breakfast, right? YOU KNOW THIS. You do. EVERY single personal trainer, doctor and nutritionist preaches this mantra. The universality of this idea is quite astonishing among professionals who still can’t agree whether eggs are really good for you or not. But breakfast? It’s pretty much an accepted fact that it is good for you. And skipping is BAD FOR YOU.
  6. PART 1 OF 2: Go out with your girlfriends. Nothing revives and rejuvenates the spirit more than sisterhood.
  7. PART 2 of 2: Don’t talk about your kids. Seriously, there are 1,002,443 other things to talk about. Like current events. Fashion. The movies. Sex. And if all other topics fail, there’s always the Kardashians. Oh, and speaking of sex…
  8. Have sex. With your spouse, yourself, I don’t care and I don’t judge. Sex with your spouse is good for your marriage. You know this. And sex with yourself is just like dessert, only with less calories.
  9. Buy yourself something indulgent without guilt or remorse. I’ve met  moms who talk like getting a new pair of impractical shoes is criminal. If your wallet can handle it, why the hell not? So what if you don’t really have anyplace to wear them to? You go to the grocery store, right? No reason you can’t dazzle the checkout folks with your red-soled shoes.
  10. And finally, the last thing on the “Must Do” list for 2012: Stop being so hard on yourself. We’re all of us going through the same things, experiencing the same hardships and triumphs, riding the same waves. It’s how we handle them that make us different from one another. This is where my yoga has really helped me (hey, gotta put in a plug!) become more aware yet less worried.

What do you think? Doable? Impossible? Eight out of ten? Two out of ten? Don’t stress about this list now, that would be the exact opposite of what I’m proposing here. Really, at the end of the day, all I want us to accomplish is to reclaim our individuality, to remember that we are more than guardians of our children, that we were SOMEBODY before the little tykes came along. Because we know too that there will be a time when they will leave us to our own devices. Hopefully, when that time comes, you will look forward to getting reacquainted with yourself with joy and wonder.

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Realistic resolutions

Posted in Life on January 13, 2011 by Karmela

I’ve always avoided making new year’s resolutions because, well, I break em, usually by the end of January, and then I give up altogether. However, this year, I really, really need to make—and keep—a few resolutions. These things aren’t necessarily New Year’s Resolutions as much as they’re Things That Need to Permanently Change in Karmela’s Life. And what better time to change them than, well, now? It just so happens to fall during the first of the year. Failure is not an option. Change we can believe in. Okay, enough with the clichés/slogans. What are these things that need changing?

  1. Karmela needs to keep better track of her shit. And by “shit,” I mean not my marbles, but my stuff. I am careless with my personal belongings, have been ever since I was a kid. My mother, may she rest in peace, always called me by that ugly-sounding Tagalog word, burara, which literally means,  ”someone who can’t keep track of her shit.” No shit, mom. But I hear her. This has got to stop. Permanently. When I was a kid/teenager/young adult, I didn’t have that many valuable things. Now, I sorta kinda do. I have electronic gadgets, car/house keys, leather accessories, real jewelry. Did I mention electronic gadgets? In 2010, I lost my 64MB iPod classic and my key ring (with a key chain from Kitson).
  2. Karmela needs to closely read every piece of paper that comes home from school. No more cursory glancing at the emails and newsletters from the kids’ teachers. Lots of things going on and I need to be on top of it.
  3. Karmela needs to stop injuring herself. 2010 was the year I finally got it into my noggin that I’m no longer 23. I can no longer start working out full-tilt without warming up first, I need to nurse an injury as soon as it happens, and when I do get injured, my body doesn’t bounce back like it used to. But most of all, I just need to listen to my body and quit pushing it beyond its limits. Ego is a factor here; so is denial. Gotta expunge the two out of my system for good.

That’s it, see?  Only three that happen to be completely realistic and achievable. But achieving will be a long-term journey, which means I also have to practice zen-like patience and accept the fact that I’ll slip here and there. But that doesn’t mean I get to quit altogether when I slip. A friend reminded me yesterday of that great Yoda quote:  ”Do or do not. There is no try.”

So there’s resolution #4: not to “try” #1-3, but to “do.”

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You know you’re living in 2011 when…

Posted in Life on January 12, 2011 by Karmela

1. You accidentally enter your PIN into the microwave.
2. You text the grocery list to your husband’s cell.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You GoogleTalk with the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they’re not on Facebook.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has the Facebook and Twitter logo on the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell, which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.
9. You Tweet about every car accident and delay you encounter on your commute. Hey, it’s a public service!
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, Mom2Amara!)
11.  You get a flat tire and your first reaction is to take a photo of the tire (with your cell of course) and post it on Facebook.
12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you’re already thinking about re-tweeting this post.

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Hello 2011

Posted in Fitness, Life on January 10, 2011 by Karmela

How can it be that I haven’t blogged here in more than three months now?  I’ve been away for so long my WordPress dashboard looks a teeny bit different. So here I am, back in action (or inaction, as I’ll be discussing momentarily), and what better way to start off the New Year than by doing the exact same thing every other blogger in the universe is doing right now?

Yep, you got it: listing my New Year’s Resolutions. Except I’m going to refine mine and list my fitness resolutions instead. Mine however aren’t the usual “work out more” and “hit the gym X times a week” resolutions. They’re more on the mindful side because 2010 was definitely an eye-opening year for me as far as my health was concerned. So I’ve jotted down the following to see if I can make 2011 a better year for me:

  1. To heal. 2010 was the Year of the Injury, specifically the injury to my glutes that the doctors have now diagnosed as an Ischial Tuberosity (literally a “pain in the ass”). The injury began sometime around March and has only worsened as the year wore on. For 2011, the first order of the day will be to heal. This will be accomplished using a combination of alternative treatments (prolotherapy, possibly PRP as well) and following a strict regimen of rest, hydration and exercise. So using those last three as my guides, I also resolve…
  2. To rest. 2010 was also the Year of Yoga for Karmela. Although I’ve been practicing on and off since 2001, this year was the year I discovered Ashtanga and various forms of power yoga (e.g., Baptiste and Rocket). In a nutshell, I overdid it. And continued to overdo even as the pain intensified. So I saw my practice devolve from the super-stretchified version where I could do a full forehead-to-knees Uttanasana to barely being able to touch my toes. Still, I refused to rest. I kept at it. So for 2011, I will either take days off from yoga or practice a more restorative version a day or two during the week.
  3. To hydrate. The cause of my injury absolutely baffled me because I’ve always been super-flexible, especially in the hamstrings department. In dance and martial arts classes I could always extend my leg perfectly straight above my head. So this injury made no sense to me. After seeing numerous alternative practitioners (e.g., chiropractor, physical therapist, acupuncturist), I finally broke down and saw an M.D. who told me, when I asked him what could have possibly caused my injury, that perhaps it was my lack of proper hydration. Over the years, the dryness in the muscles sets in and causes these tiny tears which what may have caused the tightness, and eventual tears, in my hammies. Made perfect sense to me. So 2011 will be, in addition to other things, the Year of Hydration.
  4. To listen to my body. Yep, I’m no longer 22. My body is more susceptible to injuries and takes longer to heal. I need to accept the fact that I will need to (a) warm-up before working out, (b) learn to back off when something doesn’t quite feel right, and (c) perform a recovery routine after working out (i.e., stretching, savasana, etc). Wish me luck on 4.b.
  5. To sleep. Since upping my yoga practice, I’ve noticed a considerable improvement in the way I sleep, as in, I actually get sleepy. Yes, goodbye, insomnia! Problem is, I’m so used to not sleeping that even when I feel sleepy, I resist. I get online or read or watch TV. Must. Resist. Urge. I must give in to the sleepies and just, well, sleep already.
  6. To enjoy the outdoors more. More of a lifestyle goal than a fitness goal, this will however entail fitness-related activities such as biking or hiking or swimming. And an ancillary goal: don’t let the shitty weather stop me from spending some time outdoors, even if it’s just fifteen minutes shoveling snow.

That’s it! Six things that are totally doable and achievable.  Of course, this doesn’t count my other non-fitness resolutions, which I may or may not discuss in this blog.  Wish me luck on the six above.

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Top 10 Things I’m Grateful For

Posted in Life on August 23, 2010 by Karmela

In my effort to be more Zen, I’ve resolved to think less about what I don’t have and focus more on the awesome things I do. And so, here they are, the 10 Things I’m Most Grateful For:

  1. Carpooling parents. I could kiss each and every single one of you. You are a blessing.
  2. Lovely college students willing to drive my kids to and from activities. Gift from god.
  3. Soccer practices and games that do not coincide with dance/piano/gymnastics. Again, blessings.
  4. Early morning and weekend yoga. Love the teachers willing to teach at these ungodly hours and/or busy timeslots. They have lives too, but they suspend it for their students. Hugs.
  5. Patient bandmates willing to give The New Girl a chance to rock out an item off her bucket list (8. Play in rock band).
  6. Fairfax County for providing buses that transport children to and from school for FREE. Where I grew up, we didn’t have this. Lots of parents take this for granted but not me. Still amazes me every day.
  7. Handsome, loving, supportive NDH. Mwah. Even though you don’t dance.
  8. The Day Job. It’s still interesting after eight years.
  9. The abundance of dance studios and yoga shalas in the DMV. A feast.
  10. Last but not least, the funny, fun, exuberant and totally contagious laughter of the kids.

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You Know You’re Obsessed With Dancing When…

Posted in Life with tags on February 27, 2009 by Karmela

…you’re in a fender-bender and your first thought is, “Dammit! I better not have injured myself ’cause then I won’t be able to dance!”

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More Dance on TV

Posted in Life with tags , , , , on December 3, 2008 by Karmela

I fell in love with “So You Think You Can Dance” the second I laid eyes on it. I still remember the moment. I was coming home exhausted after teaching a kickboxing class. As I entered the family room, ready to collapse on the couch, my eyes were drawn to the couple waltzing on TV. They looked ethereal, beautiful, magical. I paused, transfixed. I was like, “What’s this?” to DH, not bothering to look at him. “It some dance show,” he said, equally mesmerized.

And the rest, as they say, is history. I’ve watched and rewatched every episode since Season 2, which was when the show really took off (Season 1 was kind of meh). As far as I’m concerned, it’s the best show on TV bar none, and I will be forever grateful to creator Nigel Lythgoe for convincing Fox to pick it up. Together with “Dancing With the Stars” and “America’s Best Dance Crew,” it leads the pack of shows that are heralding the resurgence of dance on TV. Even Bravo’s Project Runwayized dance show, “Step It Up and Dance,” is wonderful in the way it focuses on the dancers and the dancing.

Last season, SYTYCD introduced Bollywood to the American TV-viewing audience and it was a certified hit. After that, I’m pretty sure Lythgoe, who has genuine dance cred in his resumé, was brainstorming of ways to bring more international styles of dance to American mainstream TV. Well, I think he’s done it.

This January, NBC will be airing a new reality show called “Superstar Dancers of the World” where professional dancers from eight countries will be competing against each other in an Olympics-style dance-off. I can’t wait!!! I am absolutely giddy, GIDDY I tell you, with anticipation. I’m sure it’ll be entertaining as hell, plus I’m looking forward to all the ethnic dancing that are sure to be showcased.

So everyone set their DVRs for this show already. Here’s the schedule:

WHAT: Superstar Dancers of the World
WHEN: January 4, 2009, Time TBD
WHERE: NBC, baby!

I leave you now with the dazzling image that was Heidi and Ryan’s Viennese Waltz from Season 2 of “So You Think You Can Dance” which was the first routine I saw and the one that put that spell on me.

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Musical DH

Posted in Life with tags on December 2, 2008 by Karmela

My kids and I tease DH all the time about how he does nothing for fun. I dance hip hop and ballet, teach fitness classes and write novels; Science Boy and Ballerina Girl both do soccer, ballet and gymnastics. And DH? Apart from going to the gym and lifting weights on the weekend, my dear, darling husband’s hobby of choice is to sit in front of the TV and veg. And strum his guitar in front of the computer. He used to play basketball every Tuesdays with an Old Fogey League, but that was before he got injured and quit altogether.

DH usually takes all this ribbing in stride, but I think it may have finally gotten to him. He announced the other day that starting in January, he is taking a Music Theory class at our local community college. See, DH is actually a pretty good musician. He has an innate sense of rhythm and melody, and is a natural guitar player and can play anything he hears. He’s even dabbled in some songwriting. But he can’t read music and has never had any formal instruction.

Music is in his soul the way dance is in mine, so I’m quite pleased he has finally gotten off the proverbial couch and is pursuing music as a serious hobby. So what if it totally throws my and SB’s ballet schedule out of whack? And I have to give up one of my ballet nights? Marriage is supposed to be this give-and-take thing. Right?

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Ballet For Fitness and Weight Loss

Posted in Life with tags , , on November 19, 2008 by Karmela

Temporarily putting on my group fitness instructor hat…

I’ve read a few posts on Dance.net regarding the use of ballet as a weight-loss/fitness medium. Frankly, this surprises me. Speaking strictly about the benefits of ballet on the physiology (and ignoring for a moment its effects on mental health and just how much damned fun it is), it is my opinion as a fitness teacher/professional that ballet is not an effective way to get healthier and/or lose weight.

Why do I say that? Let’s define the word “healthy” for a second. While many people think it’s simply the absence of disease (as in, you’re not sick, ergo you must be healthy), I think a more general definition might be to use the Body Mass Index chart. In addition to that, I also want to add my own question: Can you do all the activities necessary in your daily life? An example: you might be free of disease and may satisfy the BMI requirements, but if you can’t bend over to pick up a sock from the floor, you’re not healthy.

Can going to a recreational ballet class once or twice a week promote weight loss and better health? My knee-jerk reaction: not really, for the simple reason that a 1 hour or 1.5 hourlong recreational ballet class does not elevate your heart rate to moderate levels for a sustained 30 minutes, (guidelines issued by the American College of Sports Medicine). Ballet class has a lot of stops and starts, and the only portion of class that really kicks up the heart is during allegro, which lasts for ten, maybe fifteen minutes tops.

“But going to a class once a week is better than nothing!” my sister says. And yes, I agree that an hour a week of exercise is better than zero. But all things being the same, with no changes in eating habits or addition of any other physical activity, will the one-hour a week ballet class make you lose weight?

That’s just like asking if a once-a-week hourlong walk around the neighborhood will make you lose weight. You already know the answer to that: no. While the once/weekly activity, whatever it might be, probably has an immediate benefit to your overall health, that benefit is negated after six days of sedentary activity.

Now if you’re talking three hours a week of ballet, plus a change in nutritional intake, plus two hours a week of lifting/stretching classes, THEN we’re talking. The benefits of ballet for a recreational participant is just like the benefits of any other recreational activity: the more you do it, the more it benefits you. A once/weekly class, even a twice/weekly class really does nothing in the long term as far as fitness and weight loss. The very nature of a ballet class is such that you are there to learn how to DANCE and not to WORK OUT. The two have very different goals.

You hear it so often it’s become cliché, but really there is only one path to losing weight: your energy intake must be less than your energy output. While ballet can provide a workout, it shouldn’t be used as the ONLY weight loss method.

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