The class before mine ran late last night so Lady Cheerleader and I had a chance to chat a bit as we waited. Most of my ballet instructors are retired professionals and Lady Cheerleader is the first teacher I’ve had who is a working pro. I was very curious about her, her background and what her day was like. The journalist in me, you know. I wasn’t surprised to hear about her long days working three jobs and pressure from her family to get married and have babies. I was surprised and delighted to discover that she is a local. Rare is the professional dancer who can find work in her hometown. She even teaches at the ballet school she attended as a child.
In the course of our conversation, I expressed my desire to eventually go en pointe, and she gave me a look that very clearly said, “You have GOT to be kidding me. Are you for real?” She didn’t say those words, she just gave me a long, “Okaaaay…” then she kind of rolled her eyes a little.
Her reaction completely took me aback. She actually made me feel…well, stupid. And pathetic. Like there’s something wrong with a grown, almost 40-year old woman wanting to go en pointe after all these years. Since I’m not the kind of person to let something like this pass, I probed further.
ME: What? [Said somewhat defensively]
HER: Are you sure you want to go on pointe?
ME: Yeah, why not?
HER: Because it’s such a pain!
Before I could ask her what she meant (is it the process of learning that’s a pain, or is it teaching adults to go en pointe that’s a pain?) we had to break up the conversation when the other students in my class started to arrive. I was definitely a little peeved and sulky during class, hardly smiled at all. At the end I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
I had a chance to cool off on the drive home and think about her comments a bit more. To her credit, I think she was just trying to spare me from the actual, physical suffering and difficulties associated with dancing en pointe. Maybe. Or maybe she was just articulating what I always feel during ballet class—slightly embarrassed at the fact that at my age, I still want to dance ballet. And go en pointe. And partner.
***Sigh***
Part of me wants to take this as a challenge, to show her I can do it and will do it. But part of me is like, what if she’s right? What if it’s kind of lame and pathetic, like an old, balding guy buying a Ferrari to relive his youth and attract twenty-year old babes?
For now, I’m just going to continue going to class. She is a very good teacher—clear and strict and patient. And I’m not even going to think about going en pointe just yet. Not until Fall 2010 when I’ve had two solid years of demi-pointe training under my belt. Until then, I’m going to concentrate on getting better and just dancing for the fun of it.
Good weekend, all.
